Year by year

Seems like 2020 has been cursed.
Never imagined i have to experience this in life.
But Covid19 definitely sign from god to me.
If all of this not happening,
Ill be in another place.
With new life and new path.
But maybe this is my destiny,i seems like cant avoid it.
Well, i just go along with it.

Being home,i mean stuck at home for few months has taken a toll on me. Cause im gaining weight and its so so bad (even people said its just a bit but being a skinny bitch my life,this is unacceptable)
My bmi definitely normal but i dont love myself.
Dont get me wrong,nothing wrong with being chubby but i am not comfortable with myself.
It become self hatred when i look at mirror and i kinda stress about it.
He promise to buy me something i want if i can reach 50kg. Im currently 57kg. Not sure if i can reach it eventhou im the one who set it 50kg. Ive been 55kg for 3 years so hmmm..
Im doing kinda extreme diet.
Aa soon as i wakeup,i had a glass of water (mind you,i used to hate plain water)
I workout in the morning for around 15min (so far) cause my heartbeat pace is not normal if im doing extreme workout (due to being lazy for years)
I ate eggs ( eww,but not raw obv) for brekkie (protein),
And my last meal of the day is before 7pm
At night i drink warm lemon juice before sleep.

I hate waking up in the morning thinking i needed to workout(please god,make me love workout)
So i was wonder how those healthy people live? Hehe

So me and azim are kinda into deco.
We did our daughter's room. Now kitchen.
Well im kinda gives him 10% of the idea cause he is more pro in this.. and he pays, so i got no hate on that.
I try to be more positive these days.
Being hungry all the time is kinda makes me moody too but ill managed.

I hope i can share happy news (about my lose weight journey) in here for my next post.
Actually i don't really care if no one read this cause this is basically my diary haha. Bye!