..

Its not my place to talk bad about people i loved.
I just got no one to talk to.
I dont even know where to begin?
Is this my punishment for being alive?

I am tired.
Tired from chasing sales and expectations from work,
Tired from people who selfish on the train,
Came home, taking care of suri, play with her, manage her,
Babysitting her till she sleeping,
Then i cook, eat, clean, then rest.
Im usually done after midnight,
Then i sleeps.
If im lucky, suri wont wakeup till morning,
But when she sick, i wont be able to sleep.
Morning i wakeup early, make breakfast for suri,
Fed her bath her while rushing to work,
Call for grab car, stops at her granny house,
Give her to her granny and pray everything gonna be ok today,
Walking to lrt station,
Sweating all over again,
Catch train to klcc,  grab bread for me as breakfast,
Start work again.

I get complained for not serving breakfast when he go to work,
I got complained for not eating at his mom house,
I got complained for asking rm3 for fare bcause i dont have change,
I got complained for paint the house and didnt finish it,
I got complained for buying using my own money.

You promise me it will be only us three.
Survive on our own.
You said you taking care of me and suri.
But during your free time or offday,
You rather sleep in than help me paint.
You saw how rushing i was managing house n suri yet you never offer to help.
You said i was being wasteful by trying to cook than eat at your mom place,
You heard suri crying at night and i was trying to calm her down yet you seems annoy with it than care about your daughter.
You never bother noticing how tiny our suri mow after send to your mom,
Did you know she starving?
When i was sick, im asking you to send me to hspital,
What did u do?
Taking your sweet time bathing while im in a hell of pain,
Lashing out to me because you always have the mindset that i am pretending to be sicker than i am really.
You know why im so mad at your mom?
Because she badtalk about me when im about to started loving her like my own mother and she talk infront my sister,
I thought she really care about me,
But i guess she just dont wanna lose you.
She just had to.
If she really hate me, no need to tell infront of my sister,
My sister is so sad that my life like this.
I maybe your daughter in law,
But im still somebody's daughter.
When u got no money,
U always go to your families,
Do you know they told me and accuse me for not helping you?
Why is it always me to blame?


I opened acc for suri,
Saving for her alone,
I care for her health but im afraid i wont be there longer,
I opened her insurans.
I pay by myself.
You was complaining about paying my debt
But the truth is you are the one who use the money.
I never asked for money,
Since day 1,
Its you who always go for my money,
You know i am very independent woman,
You take me for granted.
I guess im just a slave for you who got wife title.

Remember those 1 time i was so tired of you?
I was asking for divorce.
What did u said?
U was crying, u was begging,
I was too soft hearted i guess.
How can i be so silly believing that you will change,
You will keep twisting your stories forever.
I knew now, you will never change.
I know u will going to read this soon,
I let you know things that i cant talk in person,
Because you will always find a way to twist your fault to me back so read carefully and understand my heart.
U and me still together today,
Because of suri.
The truth is i am so suffering with your atttitude,
Your family, everything..
Love that i gave you long ago seems to gone because if there is any love left i wont be suffering like this.

I wont be live long,
But i will live happily.
Let me find my happiness.
Because i though you are,
Not you're not.