Voice

Because my voice is useless to you.
I let my inner voice speak in here.

You said you tired.
Too tired to help me taking care of suri,
Or even finish up her room.
Tired from working so so hard,
Tired from driving in jammed,
Tired from driving me and suri to hospital 2 days before,
Tired from all the bullshit excuse you can think of.

Lemme tell you my life.

If im on noon shift.

Wokeup at 8am,
Cuddle with suri then bring her to tv,
Turn on her cartoon channel while cook breakfast
For suri,
While she's eating,
I tidy up our bed and start to prepare warm water
For her to bath later,
Go back to her,
Clean up her mess,
Pick her up and choose her cloth to wear later,
Put her in her tub,
Shower with her,
Brush her teeth,
Put cloth on her then mine,
Put her infront tv again,
While prepare her thing to bring to nenek house,
Call grabcar,
Carry her,her bag, my bag into grabcar,
Went to nenek house,
Walk in the hot sun to lrt,
Arrive at klcc and start buying my breakfast,
Doing makeup while eating,
Briefing then start doing sales because we have target
Back at 10pm.
Play with suri.
Make her milk,
Put her to sleep.
After she sleeping,
I can eat or go to toilet or do other things.


Can u imagine if im on my offday?
Im not like you.
I took care of my daughter 24 hours by myself during my offfday.
So i took care of her,
I cook,
I hanging cloth,
I clean up house,
I am 100% more tired than you.
But i never ever complaint it because its my life.
I am prepared for this but you dont.
You being a father for a year and 4 months now
but you still dont know if your daughter poop or not.
You cant put her to sleep.
You never take care of her by yourself.
But she still loves you more than me.
But so sad because her daddy is only a dad when
He feels he wanted to.

I love you.
But im sad.
Im tired living with you.
Its been 5 years but u never change.